Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in rexmaynard's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
11:21 am	Farewell to a good man. This has been an odd last few months. First my brother dies, then I fall madly in love, now I had to kill my best friend to save my girl! I can't explain what went wrong with poor Bruno last night, but I'm sure somehow Arnold Tiller had something to do with it. He went crazy, and nearly killed Nancy (umm, Linda, wink wink). What could I do? Turns out the whole thing was just over some howling mutt that Mr. Tiller thinks can sing. Was a dog's safety worth Bruno's life?? *Sob*..... (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
1:31 pm	In hiding sorry I haven't updated recently. This Murray character continues to hound me, and I think he found out about me through LJ. Bruno keeps trying to catch Murray in the act, but he's tricky, and keeps getting away. Earlier this month Bruno showed up with a dog that really looks familiar, and told me it's a guard dog. It's really adorable, it sings along with me! I named him "Jim" after my departed brother. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
10:39 pm	Murray Klugman is the devil Bruno managed to trace the threatening phone calls I've been receiving. They are indeed coming from someone named Murray, a Murray Klugman! It appears that my stalker is Jack's stepson. I talked to Jack about it today, and he told me that he has never complained about the internal bleeding I inflicted on him. So, I'm really confused as to why this Murray character is after me! Bruno told me not to worry my pretty head about it, and assured me that I'm in no danger. "Linda" and me are getting along really well, even though Bruno thinks she is simply using me to get at her dad. All I want to do in this life is offer my voice to the world.... why are things so complicated??? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 9th, 2005
2:06 am	I'm scared This has been a scary week. I've been getting threatening phone calls from some guy calling himself "Murray". He told me that I might be pretty tough when fighting octogenarians, but I don't stand a chance against a scrawny man in his early 40's. I don't know why, but this Murray character terrifies me. Thursday, my old friend from the top secret cruise, Bruno showed up at the door to my small apartment. He is acting pretty strange, but since he saved my life, I feel I owe him. I agreed to let him stay with me for awhile, "Until things blow over", whatever that means. He then told me that he heard Los Angeles is suffering a severe water shortage, and the mayor told people to shower in pairs whenever possible. I haven't heard about this water shortage myself, but I'm a responsible citizen, so we're doing that. He naps during the day, and keeps a constant watch on my door and patio window at night. When I asked him why, he just puts his arm around me and tells me not to worry about things. I heard a rumor that Arnold Tiller has a lj account!? When I tried to see for myself, I was locked out of it. I'm afraid he might be keeping an eye on me, so from now on, I'll be referring to a certain lady in my life as "Linda". Hopefully those that know me, know who I mean. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
10:16 pm	Sorry Jack. I had a big day. I was determined to stand up to Arnold Tiller, and I had an appointment with him today at 2PM. To psych myself up for it, I went to the karate gym located in the recording studio. Once again, I met Jack Klugman, and he agreed to spar with me. This was 30 minutes before I was to meet with Arnold Tiller, and i was revved up pretty good. I'm not proud of this, but I broke 4 of Jack Klugman's ribs. And i severely bruised his sternum. But hey, if you're pushing 80, and insist on sparring, you get what you ask for, right? Anyhow, jigged up on testosterone, I then met with Arnold Tiller, and told him to sign me to a contract. After calling me a no good two bit son of a warbling punk (which makes me wonder who this anonymous person is), he actually signed me!! I had to agree in the contract to not date Nancy, but I'm not about to listen to that!! Truth be told, I made a woman of Nancy tonight, because I knew Arnold Tiller would hate it. He really stinks, and I'm going to be a major star!!! It helps that Arnold's sister likes me. It was her birthday, so I sang "Happy Birthday" to her. She said it was the best rendition of that song she's ever heard. By the way... Mr. Tiller signed me for 85$. Is that a good deal? I never did have a good head for business, and I've been deprived of sleep lately what with the fax machine being located 3 feet from my head on the ship. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
11:14 pm	Ther big game is over where do i start? I've been through so much. As if my brothers death weren't enough... i was sleeping in the ship cabin that had the fax machine. Every time i was just drifting off.... some idiot called from the U.S. sending a fax. One fax was for me, but i'm not sure what to make of it. It was from some group home, the picture they sent had three workers at the home in the background, with three patients in the front. They said they were big fans of my music, which sort of depresses me. Is my talent only good enough to warrant cult status among the mentally retarded?? Anyhow..... I'm back in L.A., and i'm spending some time with Nancy. She has noticed the change in me since my brothers death, and thinks that it will enhance me as an artist. Her father, the man i need to actually impress, called me a washed up former stunt man and had me ejected from his house. After having shot dead three terrorist scumbags, do you think I'm gonna just sit here and take it??? (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
3:52 am	A new song It's been hard the last couple of days. I miss my brother Jim. I miss Nancy. And I keep thinking of the severed, bloody hand I saw that had my brothers ring on it. The hand belonged to a female enemy agent that seduced him. That hand... that little hand. all of these emotions in me inspired me to write a new song. The music for the tune I received previously from Wyngarde, a musician of some reknown. I wrote the lyrics myself. Here it is. "Your Little Hands" Music by Wyngarde Lyrics by Rex Maynard When my mindlay's feeling sad And inside I'm feeling bad Happend all the time when I'm aloooone With her heart of lovienaise I know not what to do Knowing there's no time Maybe there's an answer I can find. It's really a mixed blessing, my musical gifts. It takes great sorrow to bring out my best work. This song is not yet complete, but it's already shaping up to be a winner, and I find comfort in it. I imagine myself as a successful musician, driving around in a car, and hearing myself on the radio. I know, it's pretty self-centered of me, in view of my brother's recent horrible death, but it helps me to heal. The ship should reach Australia in a few days, then I can put this all behind me, and use the money I'm earning to pursue my music career full-time. On the other hand, since Bruno is giving me 3-4 hours of golf lessons a day, I just might be ready for the PGA! I did have to give Bruno a lecture on "good touch, bad touch" this afternoon, but otherwise he's cool. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
12:20 pm	Jim..........Jim.. The last several hours have been something I only hope I can one day forget. After my last post, I went topside on the ship to find my brother Jim, and I did. He was tossing a rope ladder off the side of the ship, and several people wearing ski masks and carrying guns were climbing up. As I had mentioned earlier, this ship is carrying some very secret items on it. I couldn't believe Jim was a traitor! I tried my best to stop these raiders, but I was overcome and struck in the head. I think my experience in stuntwork came in useful here, because I wasn't quite rendered unconscious, but I was able to go limp and "play dead". After the attackers had spread out, I went running for my friend Bruno so he could protect me. It was then I found out something that will torment me forever. My brother Jim had been killed by these people! I was naturally devastated. Leyton Van Dyk was there (honestly, it's irresponsible of me to mention his name, this is a secret mission, and he is an important man) and he explained to me that Jim was not, in fact a traitor. Still, my fear was now replaced with an inner rage I had never felt in my life. I managed to take down one of these raiders, grabbed his machine gun, and ran around the ship gunning down one terrorist after another. Finally, Bruno grabbed me tightly around the neck and calmed me down. Bruno is a very touchy guy. In the end, the enemy was beaten, but not before navy seals were called in. I found out that one of the terrorists, a female, was wearing Jim's favorite ring. I can't wait until this damned ship arrives in Australia with its' cargo. The only thing I want now is to be with Nancy. I was so intimidated by her father, Arnold Tiller a couple of weeks ago. Well let me tell you, after what I've been through, I won't be intimidated by him ever again! I need to be alone now, maybe film some shots of the ocean. I guess that if my music business doesn't work out, I can always become a photographer. Oh Jim..... Rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:22 am	Sibling rage rears its' ugly head Well, I decided to take Wyngarde's advice, since he's usually right, and I went searching in my brothers bag to find my camera. Big mistake!!! For some reason he came in and went ballistic!! He shoved me aside and screamed. The entire experience was very hurtful, and I was stunned. In fact, I haven't slept well. This morning at breakfast my brother didn't come down, and I just got back to our room, and he isn't here either. I think I'll go look on deck and see if he's watching the sun rise. -later, Rex (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
1:03 am	Life is just a big game I've had an unforgettable week. After leaving Nancy, i went to see my father. He needed a pilot for some secret testing. I agreed, since the pay was not just good... it was obscene! I guessed that the military was behind it, but I figured the money would let me pursue my musical career, so I was all for it. Anyhow, I can't do into too many details, but i ended up in a ship carrying top secret cargo. As we rounded around South Africa, my brother suddenly joined the ship! It was great to see him. We are currently getting along well, except for the time he borrowed my camera. Besides my brother, there is a guy on the ship here that's teaching me how to golf. It's a more complicated game than i had imagined, but I am developing a pretty good swing! While i cannot go into detail about what we are carrying on this ship, I can say that it's great to be with my brother again! I miss Nancy greatly, of course. More later! -Rex (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
1:02 am	(1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
10:52 pm	Leaving Los Angeles Well....... It's not all bad news. I did not sign a contract with Tiller-Time enterprises. I did meet Nancy, and she is flying back home with me. I'm giving her a grand tour of the Minnesota/twin cities area. I was told by Arnold Tiller that I need to fine tune my act before he'll sign me. I'm not pleased with that, of course, but at least I've already got a job lined up! For those who don't know, i'm a trained pilot. My father, who works for the military, needs a pilot (a civilian) for a series of tests he is performing. I told him I'm up for it. He resisted for awhile, and told me it wasn't something he wanted me doing. In the end though, I won out, and after spending the weekend with Nancy in Minnesota, I'll be heading out to an undisclosed location (LOL.... I feel like a spy, talking this way) to help my father out with some tests. I'll be getting a sizeable check too.... so who needs Arnold Tiller!!! OK, I admit it.... I really wish Tiller-time enterprises had signed me. But I'm going to keep at it! Later friends, Rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
4:02 pm	Music I'm listening to lately http://www.soundtrackcollector.com/catalog/soundtrackdetail.php?movieid=22961#labels (2 Comments |Comment on this)
3:51 pm	Man, You Need A Hand Hello again, Things with Nancy are going incredibly well. Negotiations for a recording contract with Tiller-time enterprises are underway, and not going as well as my love life at the moment, but it is still hopeful! I've received a number of requests (the actual number is zero)for the lyrics to my song "Man You Need A Hand". Here they are! I hope soon everyone will know them by heart. "Man You Need A Hand" music & lyrics by Rex Maynard Man, do you luke so wild Man, yes you steel remain a child You need just a hand 'Cause youre not eenstain That's why i will never tune my back on you Man you are not to blame Beef hall you need is happinaise and hate keeps you running from tauhwn to tauhwn beneath the moon and the stoff and you need just a hand 'Cause youre a man but steel remain onlyachild (repeat) Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? till next time, Rex (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
12:32 am	Arnold Tiller really stinks! Well, my perfect weekend was ruined when my new girls father (also my new boss) shows up at his resort house that we were staying at. He threw me off the property! He then told me "No two-bit son of a warbling punk like you will ever work for me!" I spent all saturday hitching my way back to LA. Once i got there i has several messages on my answering machine from Nancy. She told me she really laid into her Dad after I was thrown out, and that she wants to keep seeing me. She also called her Aunt (who is also her Dad's secretary) and her aunt, Harriet, assured me she will calm down Arnold Tiller. She even told me that Arnold is a really big fan of my singing, and that I'll be guaranteed a contract! Let's hope so. Anyway, my dream weekend at a fancy Lake Tahoe resort really stunk! Rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 21st, 2005
5:56 pm	I've been a little bit busy the last couple of days. Not because I've had meetings with Arnold Tiller (in fact we still haven't met), but because I've met his daughter, Nancy Tiller. I have to tell you, she is amazing! She and I have been hanging out and having a wonderful time. She is a little worried about her father, claiming he can be overprotective, but I can't imagine there will be any trouble. Nancy and I are going to go spend the weekend at her father's resort in lake tahoe this weekend. Hopefully I'll be too busy to post until monday. later, Rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
7:59 pm	Rex Vs. Jack Klugman I arrived in L.A. this morning, and went striaht to Tiller-time Enterprises. Once again, I did not get the chance to meet with the company head, Arnold Tiller. The recording studio looked impressive enough to me, but I of course was more interested in seeing the martial arts gym. It is pretty ordinary, with one exception: JACK KLUGMAN works out there daily! He keeps himself alive by doing judo, believe it or not. I really admire the fact that a man his age keeps himself going, and I spoke briefly with him. He told me we can spar.... as long as I'm not too intense. You think I'm gonna miss a chance to kick ass on Oscar Madison?? Tomorrow I will be there, and hopefully I can kick some Jack Klugman ass. I almost forgot.... my main motivation here is to get a nice recording deal, so I also hope to meet with Arnold Tiller finally. Only not until I beat Jack Klugman to within an inch of his life! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
2:20 am	Places to stay next time you're in south africa http://www.places.co.za/html/7181.html (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
11:40 pm	I'm a singing shaolin master. hello again, I was speaking earlier to one of the producers out at Tiller-time. I was expressing my concern over the fact that i will need to find a new gym for my karate. Guess what?? He told me that they happen to have a martial art gym located in the office RIGHT NEXT TO THE RECORDING STUDIO!!! I never expected that the building would be a combination gym/recording studio. It seems they have everything at Tiller-time. I spoke to Harriet Tiller, the big man's sister and secretary. She sounds awfully nice, and we hit it off well over the phone. If her brother Arnold is half as nice as she is, I'm certain we will get along quite well! I just hope that my music is going to be good enough. Rumor in "Billboard" magazine is that Tiller-time is going to start a new project for some of their acts, where they sell musical programs similar to the old style "television spectaculars" of the pre-MTV era. I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but just imagine if I was able to be on TV in the US! Heck, why stop at America? Since I'm dreaming, why not say 13 countries? Later, Rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
10:04 pm	Big news!!! I just received a phone call from Tiller-time enterprises in Los Angeles. They liked my recording of "Man you need a hand", and I have a meeting with CEO Arnold Tiller next wednesday (the 19th). I have a feeling me and Mr. Tiller will get along really well. Wish me luck, those who read this! (2 Comments |Comment on this)